Remembering Dad - Thanksgiving 2010

It was 20 years ago that our lives were forever changed. We found out our Dad was ill. Very ill. The outlook was not good. So we gathered as a family to celebrate both Thanksgiving and Christmas, wondering if it would be the last time we would have Dad with us for the holidays. It was a special time as a family, but sadness lingered just below the surface of our celebrations. On December 7, 1990, we found out that our Dad had mesothilioma, a form of lung cancer. He was given six months to live. It was just unthinkable. Devestating. Our healthy, fit father went from running miles a day to an invalid in a matter of weeks. He left us four and a half months later. Nothing before, or after, has ever been as hard as losing him, and then having to learn to live without him.

This year is the 20th Thanksgiving celebrated without him. Grandchildren and great-grandchildren have been born without knowing him. Marriages, with new daughters and new sons have taken place, without knowing him. It was time to do some serious remembering. So that is what we did. Yesterday we remembered. We laughed. We cried. We missed his presence. We remembered our heritage and our legacy. It was a day about our Dad. Les Sharp. About his family. This Thanksgiving was about how he would have liked to celebrate.

I heard Dad's voice yesterday. A voice that was actually not part of my dreams. My brother transferred some video to DVD of our Dad speak to him (Mike) on the day he graduated from the State Highway Patrol Academy. I had never seen it before. Mike allowed Lori and I to preview it hidden away in a bedroom before the rest of the family got to see it. I heard his voice and the tears flowed. He had the most beautiful voice. A genuine smile. Kind eyes. His words were so sincere. I was wrecked. The day was certainly off to a great start! :)

As dinner was being prepared, we had the traditional bowl of nuts and a box of Russell Stover candy to munch on. Funny that no one ate much candy. Our dietary habits have improved over the years! I'm not even sure if Dad truly loved the candy or if he just ate it because it was free! The candy was donated each year to the Salvation Army and somehow a few boxes migrated home during the holidays. I do know this - he loved the caramels. And it irritated him when we would poke our finger into a chocolate to see what the filling was...then leave it in the box if it turned out to be one we didn't want!

Mike brought the contents of Dad's memory box that we stored away 20 years ago. Dad did not have many possessions. My parent's home, car, and furnishings were always provided by the Salvation Army where they served in ministry. Dad's meager possessions were but a small pile in the middle of their living room. We each kept a few things, and the rest was stored away as treasure.

Mike gave Lori and I each one of Dad's Bibles. Also, a pile of papers, letters, drawings and other memories that Dad had kept from our childhoood. It was fun looking through them all.

These "Praying Hands" have been in my home since he died, and I hung them on the wall in the dining area where we ate. I smiled as I hung them up, because they really freaked me out for some reason as a child. Just weird - only hands...no body! These usually hung in Dad's den, as I recall.

This picture frame was always on his dresser. That's my 4th grade picture, and it was still in the frame when he died.

This paper weight was also always on his dresser. I actually don't know where this came from, but it meant enough for him to have it practically forever. I'm sure one of us kids must have given it to him.

His ball and glove. Purchased by my brother for him at for Christmas back in the early 70's. Hours upon hours of Dad and Mike tossing the ball in the backyard. Our Dad loved spending time with us, playing games both indoors and out.

I gave my dad this trophy, and the English Leather was his favorite. It was his signature smell. And it still smells the same 20 years later.

His shirt. I about fell over when Mike pulled this out. He also brought his bath robe, but I didn't get a picture of that.

This is my Dad's football jersey from when he went to the Salvation Army School for Officer's Training in 1956. His training session was called "Faithful." We all agreed that this needs to get framed.

The table is set for the family. Nothing meant more to my Dad in this world than his family. We always enjoyed gathering around the table daily and on special occasions like Thanksgiving. Note his picture on the table! If only he could have been in the chair at the head of the table. If only he could have grown old, and watched the generations gather with us at this table and the second table that is now required to seat this growing family.

We made sure we had all of Dad's favorite foods. He loved Coconut Cream Pie. Lori made this, and the Pumpkin Pie you see behind it.

I made these Harvest Table Apple Pies - a family favorite for about as long as I can remember. They must be made with Granny Smith apples. Our Dad loved his pie to be tart!

Gathering at the table for dessert: Mom, her husband John, my brother Mike, his wife Kris, and their son Tyler.

After dinner we all gathered around to watch the slides from our childhood. Mike transferred the slides to a DVD several years ago.

Most of us hadn't seen the slides in years. Again - laughing and crying! It was amazing to recognize the likeness of us as children to some of the new generation of little ones that have joined us. I still don't know how this happened. How did I grow up so fast? Where did my teen years go? How did I get so old? Become a Mimi? If you know me - you know I struggle greatly with the passage of time.

I snapped some pictures of some of my favorite shots of Dad during the slide show. He is so handsome!

Best friends ever. Dad and Uncle Joe. Uncle Joe is not family through blood or marriage. He is family because my Dad said so!

He wore that coat for about 30 years I think!

I absolutely love this picture. Dressed in full uniform, he just couldn't resist picking up some snow to toss a snowball. This man always enjoyed the simple pleasures of life.

Haha! What can I say?

Daddy pulling me on the sled.

These pictures were once slides, as I said. Every time my dad would show the slides to us kids, this one would always be in the projector upside down. This is our Mom, and we would always laugh and laugh when Dad would say, "Now how did that happen?" So Mike, of course, had to put the picture in upside down when he transferred the slides to the DVD. I love it!

Young and fit! I believe this was at Saddle Lake Camp in the late 60's.

Using the Dictaphone. Maybe preparing Sunday's sermon?

BFF Uncle Joe again!

Yeah - us Sharps get our competitive nature from our Dad. Enough said! Mike and Dad played Nerf Basketball all the time, and all over the house!

This was Dad's 40th birthday. Yes, I am now older than he was in this picture. Again, how does this happen???

I'm thinking this little girl adores her father.

His absolute favorite place on earth. Old Orchard Beach, Maine. This is why I continue to go there every year.

My Dad and Joshua, my first born. I could have never believed then that seven years later my Dad would be gone and my children would grow up without him. Look how he loved the babies...you can tell he is talking to Josh, and Josh is taking it all in. My son Joshua often reminds me of Dad. You can recognize the "Sharp" in Josh easily.

Not everyone could be with us on Thanksgiving this year. Here is Trey cracking some nuts! He never met his Grandpa and wishes that he could have.

Sarah meets Sophie for the first time. Sarah is Tim's wife (Lori's son). Lori's son Billy and family were unable to join us this year.

Our little Sophie Sunshine. Daughter to Brice (my son) and Haley Galloway.

My brother Mike holding Sophie.

Aunt Chrissy and Sophie. Chrissy is my son Josh's wife. Josh was unable to come because he was really sick. That was a huge disappointment. Josh particularly enjoys tradition and family history.

Isabel. Izzy. Iza-baby. My sister's granddaughter. Izzy belongs to Tim and Sarah Riley.

Brice and daughter, Sohpie.

My great-niece Juliette. That face. Those eyes! Juliette is Tyler and Melissa's daughter and Mike and Kris's granddaughter.

Jackson. Big brother to Isabel. Smart as a whip, a winning smile, and a ball of energy. He makes me smile.

Great nephew, Austin. Big brother to Juliette. He is playing Monkey in the Middle with Jackson and Trey.

Devin, Jenny, Aiden and Joel actually couldn't be with us, but Devin came later that night. Silly boys. Had to include this!

Everyone left at the end of the day with one of these framed photos of Dad. A friend found this photo at the Salvation Army in Chester, PA and posted it for me on Facebook. None of us had every seen it before. This picture depicts who my dad really was. I was so struck by that when I saw it. My dad never liked a lot of attention - a trait that I inherited. He had a heart for people, though. For the lost. For those in need. It is evident that the little guy in this picture is soaking in the attention genuinely given to him by the Captain. Both are oblivious to the camera. I just love this.

It was a wonderful day, and a difficult day. We remembered. It took it's toll. But it was good.

This is Les Sharp.

At the beach.

Old Orchard Beach.

In his favorite golf hat.

Smiling.

Enjoying his favorite place.

Hi Daddy.

We love you and miss you!

"Without Worship, We Go About Miserable" - A.W. Tozer

As believers, we are called to worship God. It is a command. God said so!

"Worship the Lord your God and serve him only." Matthew 4:10.

No doubt, there are so many ways in which we can worship Him. Through the study of the Word, in the stillness, in prayer, through instruction, through service to others - the list goes on and on.

On my heart today, though, is why Praise and Worship is so important. You know, the Praise and Worship that is prevelant in many churches today. The time of singing and expression to God that sets the table for what is to come - the teaching of the Word, the prayer, other forms of worship and whatever God wants to do. Why should we do it? No doubt, He alone is worthy of our devotion, praise, and worship. A.W. Tozer said, "Without worship, we go about miserable." Without worship, we are not being obedient. Lack of obedience could make one miserable, could it not? God does not want us to be miserable! And we won't be if we do as he instructs:

• "Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness; tremble before him, all the earth." Psalm 96:9
• "Give unto the Lord the glory due his name, worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness." Psalm 29:2

Of course, the best way we can worship God is to live each day for him.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2

However, we are also called to praise him. To be willing to exalt His name. To express our love. To celebrate him. To boast about Him. We should do this in our churches corporately, in our homes, in our cars, at our place of employment. Wherever.

"I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth." Psalm 34:1.

I have always found it amusing the things that people get excited about. The things that make them shout, jump up and down, cry with joy, dance a little jig. Surely, if you have sports-lovers in your life you have seen these reactions in your own living room when a favorite team scores or wins a game? No one has ever scored as big as Jesus. I'm just saying...

What does the Bible say about how we should praise? This may stretch some of you, but oh the joy when you let go of inhibitions and just praise him and worship freely. It is so pleasing to our God! It is not a spectator sport. It is not a performance to watch. It is about giving an offering to Him. It is about placing credit where credit is due. It is about taking our eyes off of ourselves and placing our eyes on Him. It is inviting him to inhabit our praise...and He will. So get a little uncomfortable and honor Him as His Word instructs us to!

• "Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strongs and flute, praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals" Psalm 150:3-5
• "Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy. How awesome is the Lord Most High, the great King over all the earth!" Psalm 47:1-2
• "The whole assembly bowed in worship, while the singers sang and the trumpeters played." 2 Chronicles 29:28
• "I will declare your name to my brothers; in the congregation I will praise you." Psalm 22:22
• "Because Your loving kindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless You while I live; I will life up my hands in Your name."

Praise can also usher in His presence and power. Not that it is a prerequisite, of course, because God is God and He can do what He wants, when He wants. However, I think of Paul and Silas bound up and in the dungeon of a prison - yet they chose to pray aloud and sing praises to God, while others moaned and cursed at their own circumstance in that place. You know what happened next! The ground shook, doors flung open, and their bonds were broken! God came down and rescued them, and their praise was a channel of faith for this miracle! The Bible says that God inhabits the praises of His people:

"Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel." Psalm 22:3

And what did the children of Judah do when they were surrounded by their enemies? They obeyed God, believing that this was his battle. They knew that God would come through for them. Their army was led by those who praised:

"Praise the Lord, for His mercy endureth forever." Then then Scripture tells us, "...when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushments against the children of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, which were come against Judah; and they were smitten." 2 Chronicles 20:22.

God desires the praises of His people. When we learn to "shake off" the cares of this world, stop worrying about what others think, offer a sacrifice of praise, take our eyes off of ourselves, and give our praise to him - it fullfills God's command, it is beautiful, it is pleasing to Him, it is good, it ushers in the presence of the Lord, and His glory fills the temple. This is one of the great purposes for which He created us!

Praise and Worship is about Him - not about us! Give a little! Go about in "His marvelous light" and refuse to be miserable! Worship and praise Him. In the sanctuary. At home. Wherever you are. Every day. It is ok to get a little excited. I promise.

"But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light..." 1 Peter 2:9

In awe of You, we worship

And stand amazed at Your great love

We're changed from glory to glory

We set our hearts on You our God

Now Your presence fills this place

Be exalted in our praise

As we worship I believe

You are near

Blessing and honor

And glory and power

Forever

Amen

There is No Value in Fear - The Pledge of a Halloween Scrooge

As a young first time mom, my husband and I made a decision while Joshua was still an infant that we would not celebrate Halloween. As a child, I certainly enjoyed the "holiday." My brother, sister and I did what all the other children did on the eve of November. We dressed up in costumes, some silly, some scary, and hit the streets with our friends in pursuit of treats. It was Halloween, and this is what children did. I certainly never questioned why we did this, who made this night a "holiday," or what it all meant. I'm sure my parents never questioned it either. We participated because everyone else did, and it was fun!

When Joshua was 2 1/2, although we chose not to dress him up and enter the dark night to Trick or Treat, I was not confident enough in my convictions yet to turn the porch light off and fully remove myself from the evening activity of the neighbor children roaming the streets. I had my bowl of candy ready. The first knock on the door was our neighbor's girl, probably 5 years old, dressed as a witch, faced painted green. Joshua had walked up behind me unknowingly, and all of a sudden I heard terrified shreaks escaping my toddler's throat. A scream like I'd never heard before from my sweet boy. My attempts to comfort him and to tell him who it was at our door were fruitless. My child was utterly terrified. That was it for me. I was right. There is no value in fear, and I was sorry that I had only partially followed my convictions. I was done.

I was so angry with myself as I held my trembling little boy. I knew the truth. I knew the "why." I knew the origins of that day and I had invited it into my home. This was not okay.

I want to be clear - my stand is not against occultists, non-Christians, or even those Christians that are not convicted as I am, or Christians that just don't know the facts, or anyone that chooses to participate. Rather, I take a stand "against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12).

The world would like us to believe that we are keeping our children from a fun activity and causing them to feel embarrassed by their non-participation. Ridiculous! There are so many fun activities you can share with your children instead. When we were in a school district that had Halloween parties in school, I took my children out and we had a special day together! It was a great opportunity to remind them that they are different and that is ok. They learned from it to stand for what they believe. I remember Devin, probably in 3rd grade, telling his teacher that he would not color a witch, and he asked for another picture to color. I was so proud of his convictions and his confidence to speak up!

Kids will get it if you tell them why you believe what you believe:

• Trick or Treat started because the Celtics thought that on this night the dead would rise and roam the streets and try to enter their homes. They would leave "treats" for the spirits so that they would not enter their homes. Humans would dress up as demonic creatures and roam the streets hoping to masquerade as a demon, so as not to be recognized by the "real" demons. It was a night of mischief where people could play pranks on others and not get into any trouble.
• The Jack-O-Lantern is the ancient symbol of a damned soul. The Irish used to use turnips to carve faces into to represent the souls of the dead. When they came to the United States in the 1800s, they couldn't find enough turnips to use for this purpose, but there was an abundance of pumpkins, which started the tradition we know today. The Jack-O-Lanterns were meant to scare away the spirits of the dead that would roam around on Halloween. Not so cute anymore, right?
• Bats are a symbol of Halloween because people believed that these nocturnal animals could communicate with the dead.
• Black cats were believed to be reincarnated beings. Witches could turn themselves into black cats, and they were feared.
• Witches and witchcraft are dominant themes of this "holiday." To real-life witches this is a a festival of the dead. The beginning and the end of their year. This is a real religious holiday for those that are part of the Wicca religion.

This is not innocent fun. Oh it may seem fun on the surface and many may think it harmless, but the spiritual warfare on this night is real. I remain steadfast...there is no value in fear. There is no value in the appearance of evil. There is no value in this "holiday." There is no way I can reconcile the facts with the "fun." And my children did not miss out on anything...you just ask them!

"Test everything. Hold onto the good. Avoid every kind of evil." I Thes 5:21-22

"Do not imitate what is evil." 3 John 1:11

"Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good." Romans 12:9

"Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness. Live as children of the light. Eph 5:11-12

"Train a child in the way they should go." Prov 22:6

"What fellowship can light have with darkness?" 2 Cor 6: 14-17

I hope that if you are reading this and you've never considered these things, that this will encourage you to pause and pray about what you are going to do on 10.31.10, and on the eve of November for every year to come.

I promise you, these little faces will not feel left out. They are learning already that they are set apart and it is ok to be different!