It was 20 years ago that our lives were forever changed. We found out our Dad was ill. Very ill. The outlook was not good. So we gathered as a family to celebrate both Thanksgiving and Christmas, wondering if it would be the last time we would have Dad with us for the holidays. It was a special time as a family, but sadness lingered just below the surface of our celebrations. On December 7, 1990, we found out that our Dad had mesothilioma, a form of lung cancer. He was given six months to live. It was just unthinkable. Devestating. Our healthy, fit father went from running miles a day to an invalid in a matter of weeks. He left us four and a half months later. Nothing before, or after, has ever been as hard as losing him, and then having to learn to live without him.
This year is the 20th Thanksgiving celebrated without him. Grandchildren and great-grandchildren have been born without knowing him. Marriages, with new daughters and new sons have taken place, without knowing him. It was time to do some serious remembering. So that is what we did. Yesterday we remembered. We laughed. We cried. We missed his presence. We remembered our heritage and our legacy. It was a day about our Dad. Les Sharp. About his family. This Thanksgiving was about how he would have liked to celebrate.
I heard Dad's voice yesterday. A voice that was actually not part of my dreams. My brother transferred some video to DVD of our Dad speak to him (Mike) on the day he graduated from the State Highway Patrol Academy. I had never seen it before. Mike allowed Lori and I to preview it hidden away in a bedroom before the rest of the family got to see it. I heard his voice and the tears flowed. He had the most beautiful voice. A genuine smile. Kind eyes. His words were so sincere. I was wrecked. The day was certainly off to a great start! :)
As dinner was being prepared, we had the traditional bowl of nuts and a box of Russell Stover candy to munch on. Funny that no one ate much candy. Our dietary habits have improved over the years! I'm not even sure if Dad truly loved the candy or if he just ate it because it was free! The candy was donated each year to the Salvation Army and somehow a few boxes migrated home during the holidays. I do know this - he loved the caramels. And it irritated him when we would poke our finger into a chocolate to see what the filling was...then leave it in the box if it turned out to be one we didn't want!
Mike brought the contents of Dad's memory box that we stored away 20 years ago. Dad did not have many possessions. My parent's home, car, and furnishings were always provided by the Salvation Army where they served in ministry. Dad's meager possessions were but a small pile in the middle of their living room. We each kept a few things, and the rest was stored away as treasure.
Mike gave Lori and I each one of Dad's Bibles. Also, a pile of papers, letters, drawings and other memories that Dad had kept from our childhoood. It was fun looking through them all.
These "Praying Hands" have been in my home since he died, and I hung them on the wall in the dining area where we ate. I smiled as I hung them up, because they really freaked me out for some reason as a child. Just weird - only hands...no body! These usually hung in Dad's den, as I recall.
This picture frame was always on his dresser. That's my 4th grade picture, and it was still in the frame when he died.
This paper weight was also always on his dresser. I actually don't know where this came from, but it meant enough for him to have it practically forever. I'm sure one of us kids must have given it to him.
His ball and glove. Purchased by my brother for him at for Christmas back in the early 70's. Hours upon hours of Dad and Mike tossing the ball in the backyard. Our Dad loved spending time with us, playing games both indoors and out.
I gave my dad this trophy, and the English Leather was his favorite. It was his signature smell. And it still smells the same 20 years later.
His shirt. I about fell over when Mike pulled this out. He also brought his bath robe, but I didn't get a picture of that.
This is my Dad's football jersey from when he went to the Salvation Army School for Officer's Training in 1956. His training session was called "Faithful." We all agreed that this needs to get framed.
The table is set for the family. Nothing meant more to my Dad in this world than his family. We always enjoyed gathering around the table daily and on special occasions like Thanksgiving. Note his picture on the table! If only he could have been in the chair at the head of the table. If only he could have grown old, and watched the generations gather with us at this table and the second table that is now required to seat this growing family.
We made sure we had all of Dad's favorite foods. He loved Coconut Cream Pie. Lori made this, and the Pumpkin Pie you see behind it.
I made these Harvest Table Apple Pies - a family favorite for about as long as I can remember. They must be made with Granny Smith apples. Our Dad loved his pie to be tart!
Gathering at the table for dessert: Mom, her husband John, my brother Mike, his wife Kris, and their son Tyler.
After dinner we all gathered around to watch the slides from our childhood. Mike transferred the slides to a DVD several years ago.
Most of us hadn't seen the slides in years. Again - laughing and crying! It was amazing to recognize the likeness of us as children to some of the new generation of little ones that have joined us. I still don't know how this happened. How did I grow up so fast? Where did my teen years go? How did I get so old? Become a Mimi? If you know me - you know I struggle greatly with the passage of time.
I snapped some pictures of some of my favorite shots of Dad during the slide show. He is so handsome!
Best friends ever. Dad and Uncle Joe. Uncle Joe is not family through blood or marriage. He is family because my Dad said so!
He wore that coat for about 30 years I think!
I absolutely love this picture. Dressed in full uniform, he just couldn't resist picking up some snow to toss a snowball. This man always enjoyed the simple pleasures of life.
Haha! What can I say?
Daddy pulling me on the sled.
These pictures were once slides, as I said. Every time my dad would show the slides to us kids, this one would always be in the projector upside down. This is our Mom, and we would always laugh and laugh when Dad would say, "Now how did that happen?" So Mike, of course, had to put the picture in upside down when he transferred the slides to the DVD. I love it!
Young and fit! I believe this was at Saddle Lake Camp in the late 60's.
Using the Dictaphone. Maybe preparing Sunday's sermon?
BFF Uncle Joe again!
Yeah - us Sharps get our competitive nature from our Dad. Enough said! Mike and Dad played Nerf Basketball all the time, and all over the house!
This was Dad's 40th birthday. Yes, I am now older than he was in this picture. Again, how does this happen???
I'm thinking this little girl adores her father.
His absolute favorite place on earth. Old Orchard Beach, Maine. This is why I continue to go there every year.
My Dad and Joshua, my first born. I could have never believed then that seven years later my Dad would be gone and my children would grow up without him. Look how he loved the babies...you can tell he is talking to Josh, and Josh is taking it all in. My son Joshua often reminds me of Dad. You can recognize the "Sharp" in Josh easily.
Not everyone could be with us on Thanksgiving this year. Here is Trey cracking some nuts! He never met his Grandpa and wishes that he could have.
Sarah meets Sophie for the first time. Sarah is Tim's wife (Lori's son). Lori's son Billy and family were unable to join us this year.
Our little Sophie Sunshine. Daughter to Brice (my son) and Haley Galloway.
My brother Mike holding Sophie.
Aunt Chrissy and Sophie. Chrissy is my son Josh's wife. Josh was unable to come because he was really sick. That was a huge disappointment. Josh particularly enjoys tradition and family history.
Isabel. Izzy. Iza-baby. My sister's granddaughter. Izzy belongs to Tim and Sarah Riley.
Brice and daughter, Sohpie.
My great-niece Juliette. That face. Those eyes! Juliette is Tyler and Melissa's daughter and Mike and Kris's granddaughter.
Jackson. Big brother to Isabel. Smart as a whip, a winning smile, and a ball of energy. He makes me smile.
Great nephew, Austin. Big brother to Juliette. He is playing Monkey in the Middle with Jackson and Trey.
Devin, Jenny, Aiden and Joel actually couldn't be with us, but Devin came later that night. Silly boys. Had to include this!
Everyone left at the end of the day with one of these framed photos of Dad. A friend found this photo at the Salvation Army in Chester, PA and posted it for me on Facebook. None of us had every seen it before. This picture depicts who my dad really was. I was so struck by that when I saw it. My dad never liked a lot of attention - a trait that I inherited. He had a heart for people, though. For the lost. For those in need. It is evident that the little guy in this picture is soaking in the attention genuinely given to him by the Captain. Both are oblivious to the camera. I just love this.
It was a wonderful day, and a difficult day. We remembered. It took it's toll. But it was good.
This is Les Sharp.
At the beach.
Old Orchard Beach.
In his favorite golf hat.
Smiling.
Enjoying his favorite place.
Hi Daddy.
We love you and miss you!
